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"There is a rhyme and reason in all
this madness.." M. Paris

this month
Jun. 5th, 2008 @ 12:07 pm Wonderful Article
Tags: , , ,
I was skimming CNN, and what a good day on CNN... Minus the bad news in the world (of course-- it's all around us).. I found a smidge of good news (OTHER THAN OBAMA BEING THE PROJECTED NOMINEE!!!! :-D)

I found this article, and it was just nice to see someone bringing something so simple to light (even if she is a self-proclaimed pessimist)

In 1977, my friend Brenda and I went for dinner at a little Chinese restaurant called Empress Garden. She had the lemon chicken, I had the shrimp har kow, and we each had an egg roll because in 1977 you could eat sugar and fat and deep-fried everything without its signifying that the apocalypse is at hand.

Our waiter placed the entrées in front of us and ceremoniously lifted the shiny silver domes. Brenda's chicken was crunchy on the outside, moist on the inside, lemony all over, and I knew in an instant that I'd made a hideous error in judgment --I should've gone with the chicken.

I tell you this story to illustrate my willingness to admit when I've made a mistake. In fact, I've rarely ordered a breakfast, lunch, or dinner I didn't regret; at this very moment, I'm wishing I had an iced tea instead of a Diet Coke.

But aside from the food thing and one very adorable guy in the early '80s who was all you'd want in a man except for the fact that he was also looking for all you'd want in a man, I am never, ever wrong.

Now, I'm not saying I always take my own advice or trust my own instincts. I'm merely suggesting that the world would be a much better place if everyone else were to do exactly what I tell them to do. Arrogant? You bet. Narcissistic? I suppose. But c'mon, admit it, you've had the very same thought kicking around for years. Still, I'm the one with the column -- so now without further ado ...

Everything I know about the world and how you (yes, you!) should live your life:

1. If you can't get a babysitter, for the love of God, stay home! I don't want to be sitting next to little Charlotte and Duncan as they fight over a Raisinet at the midnight screening of Atonement. You wanted kids, so suck it up, walk it off, subscribe to Netflix.

2. If your outgoing phone message is longer than, let's say, the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian of the Year segment of the Oscars®, it's time to rerecord.

3. Calling to let your friend know you're running late does not excuse your constantly running late.

4. I'd like to say a few words to every crabby traveler who responds with disgust whenever a baby cries on an airplane. Perhaps you don't know how babies work, but there's been a study, and it turns out that giving a 4-month-old the stink eye doesn't actually accomplish anything. Either have a little compassion or a little Ambien.

5. Here's something for any gentleman who may be reading this: If you look good in a Speedo, you will look even better in virtually any other kind of swimsuit.

6. I am a cynic. I am a pessimist. I came of age with the Watergate hearings playing on the tiny TV in our avocado green kitchen. But every four years, I wrestle my apathy into submission, read up on the issues, and cast my ballot. You must vote. I don't care who you vote for (that's not really true -- I think you should be penciling in my name), but you've gotta get in the game.

7. One word: Floss.

8. Any man who begins a conversation with, "I don't want to hurt your feelings ... " is about to hurt your feelings. It's the kind of phrase that's never followed by, "... but I just don't think you're eating enough. Please have more lasagna while I get you a brownie." Other opening gambits that pretty much scream duck-and-cover include: "Don't take this the wrong way... ," "You can feel free to say no ... ," and the always popular "Look ... "

9. Enough with celeb gossip. The problems of Britney and Jamie Lynn Spears should not be competing for the headline space in our brains. We have to be smarter than that, and if we're not, we have to pretend that we are.

10. Get so excellent at something (long division, friendship, Parcheesi, removing cranberry juice stains, decoupage -- it doesn't matter what) that your genius will be impossible to ignore and your legendary expertise at removing cranberry juice stains while dividing six-digit numbers by 37 will either bring you glory beyond your wildest dreams or, at the very least, help you feel vaguely competent as you make your way through the world.

11. Allow me to demystify the entire real estate market for you: Gracious means ridiculously small. Quaint means a total wreck and ridiculously small. Spacious, airy, luxurious, and grand all mean ridiculously small.

12. I like a plastic bag and a bottle of water as much as the next self-involved me monkey, but it takes 430,000 gallons of oil to manufacture 100 million grocery bags, and if I were capable of doing even the most basic arithmetic, I'd say -- well, who are we kidding? I'm not capable of doing even the most basic arithmetic -- just know that we're in great danger of making Al Gore really, really mad.

13. Words matter. It's time to stop prettifying the ugly stuff. Spousal abuse means wife beating. Global warming means the Earth is toast. Enhanced interrogation means torture. And here's a bit of trivia for you: The Bush administration did not coin the phrase enhanced interrogation. Nor did it come from Jack Bauer on "24." Nope, it was the Gestapo that originated that little bon mot back in 1937.

14. To quote Elmer Fudd, "Be bwave, widdoe wabbit." Take a chance, wear your heart on your sleeve, ask the most attractive man in the room to dance, say what you want, demand what you're entitled to. There's a pretty decent chance that you won't get it, but who will you be if you never even try? Note: Only attempt the dance invitation if there's actual music playing.

15. Sometimes I worry that we've all become workaholics -- because getting through life can be really hard work. But (with apologies to the fine people who pay my salary every week here at the fabulous Hearst Corporation) we need to log off, go home, and remember what it is to have dinner, conversation, and sex ... not necessarily in that order.

By Lisa Kogan from "O, The Oprah Magazine," March 2008

Hope you can find something to take away from this. If not- I just hope that there is something good in your day that you can reflect on as you drift into dream land.
May. 27th, 2008 @ 12:58 pm California Love
 I made it to Cali. Seeing as I cannot get on FB (atleast until we get netz at the house) I wanted to let whoever reads this know..

California is amazing. 

For being a Midwestern girl, I never thought anything would make me happier, but I am meant to head out west..

I don't know where/how it will happen. But I WILL move out this way someday. For sure.

Will you come with me? You always talked about how you loved being in the mountains..

Hope all is well GBURG & Mactown. You CAN call my cell anytime. It works here. :-)
May. 18th, 2008 @ 10:38 pm Cali
Current Mood: busybusy
Tags: ,
My week:

Monday: Work 10-5 @ GE

Tuesday: Work 10-5 @ GE

Wednesday (midnight): Drinking with Mom (officially LEGAL!)
                                  New license
                                  Shopping/Lunch in Peoria
                                  GBURG Bar Tour with Daddy

Thursday: Recovery
                    Jazz Night & Karaoke with Bry

Friday: MACOMB with Carrie, Jess, Chris, McKenzee & Chels

Saturday: Back in the Burg for Dinner & more bar fun

Sunday: Leave for Cali

(somewhere in there I should pack...)
Apr. 10th, 2008 @ 12:50 pm This is why internet friends are the best
I wrote a journal on RvB and my internet friend from IN replied with the most wonderful comment anyone could have left::

You are a strong individual with a warm heart and independent nature, however you like to help others and expect them to be there when you need help in turn. You are an extraordinary person that will do well in anything you plan on doing. You are the of the intellectual elite and have a driving nature to do well in your studies, however you like to have fun as well. You are looking to settle down someday, but for now are happy to be single or do some slight dating here and there. You will be happy in life.

So insightful :-)
Jan. 28th, 2008 @ 01:37 pm Check it out
My newest business* as well as an amazingly fun time, please take a few minutes to check this out and pass it along to anyone you think might be interested at all.


the most fun you'll ever have in the span of 24-hours.
Oct. 11th, 2007 @ 10:37 am Enterprise

So here's the good news:

After a phone interview, an on-site interview, Enterprise Rent-a-Car has it narrowed down to me and another candidate for a summer internship. I have my 3rd and final interview scheduled for this coming Monday in Des Moines. So since it is quite a trek, I needed to ask for the day off from classes. 

Haven't heard from my Finance professor, but seeing as we're not doing anything HUGE in any classes- I figured it would be best to just get this interview done and out of the way so that I can know whether or not I get the internship..

(to be continued)

Sep. 23rd, 2007 @ 03:25 pm (no subject)

What a weekend.

It was so much better than I ever expected it could have been.

(ps Go Pack Go!)
Aug. 20th, 2007 @ 10:11 am First day of classes
Current Mood: crappycrappy

So.. 9am.. riiiight..

Gray seems sweet.. and really seems to care which is nice.. especially at 9 o'clock.. hoping to get into his 10am..

I'm essentially sitting in the computer lab to waste an hour.. fuck-- I really can't do this 3 days a week.. because the lab assistant already hates me because I brought a bottle of water and HAD IT SITTING ON THE TABLE NEXT TO THE KEYBOARD... AHHH!!!

What a power-bitch.

That's all I really have for you..

OH-- Megan, her boy and other friend are visiting this weekend along with Bryan. I think we will have too much fun and can NOT wait.. well.. I have to.. but.. well obviously you know how time works.

I got some new metal courage. It's got to get me through this week, and here's hoping it will.. only problem is.. it seems one of my previous piercings before that is having some trouble healing.. I really don't know what the deal is but I'm hoping to hell this heals well..

My 2nd least favorite Mexico roommate who I thought I'd really never have to see again if I could help it..... 

will be here every MWF from 10-3..


What can I do?   Constantly have plans is what I can do.. hehe.

It's seriously only 10:16.. I might go read Valley of the Dolls.. simply because it's one of the few books I own here at school and haven't read.. maybe I can start borrowing books unless I can get into this 10 am course...

How'd first days go for you?

Jul. 23rd, 2007 @ 12:14 pm HP 7... my thoughts (SPOILER ALERT!)
Current Mood: sadsad
Jul. 16th, 2007 @ 02:59 am Home

Moved into the apt. my first.. and it's great.

3 days and finally settled.. for the most part.

Hoping I'll be a good roommate :-\

Um-- it's 3am. I should go to bed.

How are you?

Jun. 20th, 2007 @ 02:42 am Seriously
Current Mood: crushedcrushed
WHY do I give a shit about this? someone I know for 6-weeks and what they do.. but it hurts so much. I don't even fucking know. It's nearly 3am your time and I've had a lot of Sol.

i swear when I get home, after all the things i need to do. I'm sitting down and writing those profound thoughts that go through my head. 

and I will cry,
I will wish on stars
I will want what I don't have
I will take those who I shouldn't for granted

I will cry harder just cause I hope you're still there

I will hope that you do love me

I hope.

God I miss you.

Is love real, or do we keep lying to each other?

I'm in a bad mood and I've got bug bites,

who does that make me?

I miss home.

Jun. 16th, 2007 @ 05:46 pm Um
Current Mood: boredbored
Essentially things I could never post in the other journal.

Went to Shiguas Thursday night (yeah, Friday was exam day..) yet like all of us went out. I borrowed a shirt from Chantal- I love it! I can't wear halter tops but this was.. perfect. Even got Erin to come out. We all got there (Erin, me, Derek, Gab, Chantal, Steph and inviting themselves along was Jessyka and Alicia we met up with the UTEP (University of Texas, El Paso) girls and Celine's bf. The UTEP's left after about 30 minutes but we found out the Lluvia's grandmother had passed away that morning. Then about 30 minutes later Jess, Alicia and Steph left.. I hate that Steph had to miss the fun but it seemed everything picked up after that.

The band was great! They play American music and did all of our favorite songs that we've learned since being here. No creeps, just great music and great company. We all got pretty toasty (I only spent $5.. approx 7 if you include the Indio I bought at the OXXO prior to going out)

It was a lot of fun- Gab came up to our apt. and me, him and Erin sat at the kitchen table until like 4 a.m. I felt so cliche- who sits around gossiping at a kitchen table anymore?

Exam went well? Everyone was sick, tired.. either from the alcohol or something else. It seems everyone got a little sick this last week, we're trying to figure out what it might have been.

Um, last night went out. House party.. never felt so pretty, loved... and hated, or sad at the same time in my life. However, I met a tiny little chihuaua who wanted nothing to do with me, but there was also a Yorkie who thought my toes were a lollipop. Cute.

Freeway- car upsidedown-panic attack-French prayer- drug deal? gone wrong.. -Prom wedding catered party full-- 4a.m. finally home.

7:30 bus ride? Fuck that.

How are you? Really?
Jun. 5th, 2007 @ 09:20 pm Family drama
Current Mood: angryangry
So my aunt sent me this e-mail and was concerned with my drinking, yeah I know.. me? So I was so taken aback I wrote out this long ass reply, but then decided against it.. but then I get this

> Grow up and reply to your Aunt instead of whining to your Mommy!
> Hollie

And I snapped.

So I sent one back::
I didn't go "whining" to my Mommy. I was very offended by her comments. I know
she's family, and she's concerned, but I am not drinking everynight, and when I
do go drink I do it responsibly. I was so angry that night I didn't send my
reply. I thought I'd cool down and reply later. But I couldn't think of any way
to put it the next day or even the day after. I don't know what to do with this
family anymore. I am being and have been so goddamn responsible. I went to the
bar with my friends to have a good time, and yes it probably was in bad
judgement to post that, it got everyone up in arms but I deleted it.

here's what I had- and I forgot to save Vickie's e-mail address and for that I
apologize so if you could either forward it to her or send me her address and I
I am smart, not stupid! I barely drink at all compared to most
>students and even most anyone.
>I've been drinking about 4 bottles of water a day, everyday. So I don't
>the stomach cramp was due to dehydration. I appreciate the concern, but
>contrary to what this journal shows, I drink very very little. I am having
>great time and I am being safe, if not safer than most people here. I know
>being in a foreign country seems to be making a lot of you nervous.. but
>me, I'm not stupid. I'm 20 years old, I don't go anywhere alone, I'm always
>around those I trust, and I probably won't be going out to the bars again.
>only went 2x really and I got it out of my system. Dad even knows I'm not
>kind of a person, that I'd rather go out and have a beer and shoot the shit
>like he does. I know I'm still young and have a lot to learn, but I am
>hurt by how some people are doubting my maturity. You all tell me all the
>how grown up I am, and I have not made half the mistakes people my age and
>friends of mine have made. I can't even begin to tell you how upset I am.
>it's not being away from home, no I haven't been drinking, no it's not
>I'm tired. I'm doing this to show you guys I can do this. I can go to a
>country, do my studies, have a few drinks and do it right and safely. Yes,
>making mistakes is part of growing up so.. give me your advice, but know
>that I
>have seen a lot.. I know I've got a lot more but I don't have to try drugs
>know what they have done to people. I can't even handle that much alcohol,
>don't like the feeling of being really smashed. I don't. I usually just
>have a
>few drinks and leave it at that. I am always in control of myself. Ask my
>roommate Alicia, she's always giving me shit cause I stay in alot.. I
>have a good head on my shoulders and I hopeyou all will figure that out."

It was nearly midnight when I recieved her e-mail and I e-mailed my mom for her
advice on whether or not that should have been posted. I don't know what to do
to make you guys happy. I thought this was a very open family, but it seems
enjoying college and having a few drinks will not be tolerated. I'll be sure to
stay in, and drink wine coolers.

I don't know, I really don't. I thought I was doing well, I'm getting good
grades, meeting wonderful people, not doing any drugs.. but it seems nothing
less than perfection is what is expected. I might not go on to do my masters or
doctorate, but nothing will stop me from achieving my goals and I'll be damned
if I don't have a little fun along the way, and I will make mistakes, and I
will drink too much some nights, and I will go out some night when I should be
studying.. I haven't fucked up and I have no plans to. Everyone keeps telling
me what a good head I have on my shoulders, and those who know me, know I won't
do anything stupid.

I'm sorry the distance doesn't really allow us to really know each other, maybe
that's the problem. And my LJ only shows highlights of my time here.. so I will
not include anything that might imply anything that might upset anyone. And I'm
sorry that I wrote to my mother, but I didn't want to say anything I might
regret later, I thought adults knew when to talk, right? Never speak in
anger-words spoken in anger will be those you later regret. Well I've been
angry.. I haven't wanted to go out for fear someone might find out and then
I'll get my head bitten off.

I'm living my life for me and no one else. Be proud of my accomplishments, laugh
with me at my mistakes and help me through the rough times.

May. 17th, 2007 @ 06:45 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: pensivepensive
I WOULD call...

but I don't think the conversation I can bring to the table is that of which you desire.

I admire your intellect and.. I don't want to say that I feel.. inferior around you, but I don't feel like I can fulfill the vacation from lonely time that you are craving.. that I can fill the void for something witty or.. smart even that you'll remember long enough to write about.

I'm sorry.. 

Consider this MY LJSecret.

I think Mexico is going to save my life.
Apr. 28th, 2007 @ 10:57 pm (no subject)
Long story short: I'm on Vicadin (whatever a generic offbrand of it is) for the first time and I'm a little loopy, not gunna lie.

In any case- it's looking as though I will be having my wisdom teeth *or tooth not sure* out before Mexico. I've never been put under before, never had surgery and I am literally scared out of my mind. So I guess this is a plea for some words of encouragement or some visits for the whole day I'll have to rest.

Fuck. I am so petrified.
Mar. 13th, 2007 @ 11:56 pm Highlights
Current Mood: indescribableindescribable
I went looking through my old LJ entries to get some ideas for "our day"

here's what I found::

..someone read this at my funeral.. this will be the only part you are allowed to cry at..

"If tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
all filled with tears for me;

I wish so much you wouldn't cry
the way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;

But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
that an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,

And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
all those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye,
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.

I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
it seemed almost impossible,
that I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all that we shared,
And all the fun we had.

If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
and maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss some tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,

He said, "This is eternity,
And all I've promised you."
Today your life on earth is past,
but here life starts anew.

I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
and since each day is the same way,
There's no longing for the past.

You have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things,
You knew you shouldn't do.

But you have been forgiven,
and now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand,
and share my life with me?

So when tomorrow starts without me,
don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart "


The 13th how ironic...

I love the way you lift me up..

so I can see the high fish tanks.

I love the way no matter what happens..

you're always there.

"Good night baby" :-)

I love the way you hint..

I love how you always drive, and that you always make sure I'm taken care of.

I love how you get excited about things.. how passionate you are about the things you love.

I love how you miss your bed, your dogs and even your brother..

I love how you always want what you think is best for me.

I love how you say thank you.

I love how you say, "oh bubbuh please!"

I love how you brighten my day...

I love how we plan meals and shop together..

I love how you care for me..

I love your honesty...

I love WHO YOU ARE..

I love how you make me feel..

I'm hopelessly devoted..

to you.

12-13-05.. it's now 3-13-07.. and I still feel exactly the same

READ entry from 12-30 (the day I got fired from the depot)

Mar. 13th, 2007 @ 02:54 am (no subject)
I'm not..

*inserts really long list of things I'm not --that I wish I were but listing them would only make me sadder*

but apparently I'm yours.

I doubt that.
Mar. 6th, 2007 @ 12:20 am Is this me?
You're a restless rebel with an unpredictable nature.
Bright but unbridled, you tend to seek out wild experiences over new ideas.
People are frustrated by your great potential, but you love your unconventional life.
You're a heartbreaker. People get attached to you, and then you're gone.

Your strength: Your thirst for adventure

Your weakness: Not taking time for slow pleasures

Your power color: Hot pink

Your power symbol: Figure eight

Your power month: March

what do you think?
Mar. 5th, 2007 @ 11:02 pm (no subject)
*bashes head into wall continually*

I cannot wait for:

-The Scavenger Hunt...


but for now- Spring Break with my recliner and puppies
Feb. 26th, 2007 @ 10:50 pm Thank you Desperate Housewives..
 Rex-"What are you doing?"
Bree- "Repairing a broken mug"
Rex-"Why don't you just buy a new one?"
Bree-"Because I believe in fixing what you already have"

Makes me think--

thank you weekend-- you made me believe again.